Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
