I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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