i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
