He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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