I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
