Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
