Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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