Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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