Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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