She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize