It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Why is your signature on my underwear?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
