After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
