It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
