Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
tell your sister to shave her snatch
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
This baby is an asshole
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
