butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
