I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
