i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
