I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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