id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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