I want to have your abortion
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
She even gives head with a lisp.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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