He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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