That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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