you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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