Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
