I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
