Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
