Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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