her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
