i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
