guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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