What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
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