all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
