since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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