Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize