don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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