I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
