dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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