Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
