I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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