I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
