i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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