small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
