Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
We had sex on a dog bed..
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
