This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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