You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
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