I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
