i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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