The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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