it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
