Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
