come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize