Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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