You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
