Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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