I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
